Ha ha Holiday

We just got back from family vacation/reunion in South Carolina.

This a story of my 4th of July. Enjoy.

Once upon a time, it was the 4th of July. My dad was being a total ass hat. My mom was pissed, I was pissed, and on top of it all, we were at a place where we didn't know anybody, there was no real entertainment, AND the food wasn't ready yet... But it got worse!! As I offered my assistance to fill the coolers, I noticed there was all off-brand sodas, and tiny bottles of water...and NO beer. So here's me having a great fucking time. 

Then suddenly, out of the wood works, Cousin Whatchamacalit brightens the day... Tada!! 

Oh happy day!! The food still wasn't ready, but the kids were playing on the water slide and the adults were shooting pool and I had some alcohol, so the day was looking up. Mom and I were happier campers, and Dad's ass hat-ness was forgiven. (Sorry, no pic available)

FINALLY, somebody said we could come eat. Well, nobody has to tell me twice, so I made sure I was at the front of the line to scoop up a plate. Oh boy, Chunky Brewster (that's my fatty name) was about to get DOWN!! 

Well, with a full stomach and a beer and a half gone, I was definitely starting to enjoy myself. Actually, I was bored stiff but I made the best of it. Well, of course you KNOW, I gotta go to the bathroom. So another cousin, Whose-her-face, takes me in her house (thank God...) so I don't have to use the porta potty (Ew...). And OMG, I have never seen a more awesome bathroom!! I had to take pictures. And then when I went back outside, I told my sister, mom and dad about it. So one by one they all needed the facilities. Well, it became a bathroom party. 

So we got a tour of the house, looked at some family photos (LMFAO!!!!!!), learned some family history (snore) and generally chatted about...stuff. (I would insert the family photo I have that made me laugh SO hard I had to run back to the awesome bathroom...but mom had made me promise not to post it on the internet where someone might recognize it...)

[Insert Funny Family Photo That Must Not Be Shown]

Anyway, it poured down rain off and on ALL day, we were the last family members to leave. We wrapped up some food and we went back to the hotel. Took the last 2 beers with us too.
Didn't get to see any fireworks (*pout*) 

cuz it was pouring down rain again. AND we had to go to bed if we were to get up early and head to ATL. Happy 4th of July. The end.

- Hop Along