So the other night I had this really weird dream. There was something scary about it at first (I can't remember what) and so I woke myself twitching. I could feel myself grinding my teeth so I got up and put in my mouth guard and thought to myself that I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now, let alone go back into the dream. There was something about the dream that made me want to continue it. Something unresolved, perhaps. Well, lo and behold, I did actually continue with the same dream. Now, I don't remember all the details of the dream, and what I do remember, some of it just doesn't make any sense...but the part that I still think about was this: How I felt. I could feel this deep sense of longing, of wanting something so bad, and not wanting to lose it. In the dream there was a guy named Josh, and apparently he and I had broken up and it had been about a week or so since the breakup. And I remember telling Josh (whoever he is, because I don't know anyone named Josh) that I felt that he and I belonged together, that we couldn't give up even if we wanted to. I told him that his scent was on my heart and that I smelled deeply of him (whatever the hell that means, but in the dream it made sense as only dream stuff does). I don't remember him talking or saying anything back, but I could sense that he agreed with me, that he didn't want to be apart either.
The dream slipped into some other weirdness that made sense only in my sleeping mind but I will continue to think about Josh and our connection. I mean, was that some sort of premonition?? Or was it wishful thinking?? Was it my subconscious replaying part of my recent past in a more positive light?? (I sure as hell hope not.) I know one thing...I want to find Josh, whoever he is. After all, his scent is on my heart.
BTW, that is actually a picture of me when I was about 4.
- Hop Along
No comments:
Post a Comment