Maybe I'm Crazy

In complete contrast to my Valentine's Day feelings of #ForverAlone (and hating ANYTHING happily-ever-after related), today, I can't seem to get enough of love songs. What's gotten into me?? I'm sure I don't know. Nothing has changed, I'm still single as a dollar and I am SO not ready for a relationship. I even made sure I ducked Cupid for a couple extra days just to be sure no mistakes were made (remember, I told you my ex and I were all smoochy and lovey dovey last Valentine's Day...that relationship was an absolute mistake). So what can there be to explain my current state of mind?? Well, there's insanity...possibly a touch of desperation...stupidity?? I don't know, but whatever. I'll just go with it.



*Listening to "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson*

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That was me at about 3:45 this morning. I actually shifted moods pretty quickly once I got to work. It was like people IMMEDIATELY got on my nerves. Really, it was the stupid BS that people think is important and it really isn't. I moved back into my lovey dovey mode around midday. Wasn't so much for listening to love songs and stuff like that. I was more in super flirt mode. No joke, on my way to the parking lot, I seemed to be surrounded by guys. Maybe it was just me, but that's how it seemed.
One thing was sure, one of those guys was acting differently towards me than usually. I plan to keep an eye on that behavior and see how it develops.
So this evening, as I get settled down and prepare for night night, I'm in mid-mode: I'm not all lovey dovey, but I'm not all woe-is-me either. I'm just...*shrug* half a block from crazy. So don't try to drive me there, I'm within walking distance.

Nighty night.
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Where Is The Love??

Smooching, hugging, touching, holding hands, heart shapes, teddy bears, and love...all of this has been adversely commercialized for this thing we call Valentine's Day. On any regular day any of those things would be considered sweet, but not really given a second thought otherwise. It's all great if you're in a relationship. Well, sort of. Valentine's Day puts a pressure on everyone that just...isn't fair. For those who aren't in a relationship with that "special someone" (or for the cheating dogs, someones) you feel as though you HAVE to be with someone, or that you are some sort of loser if you're not. I have to admit that I have fallen into the thought pattern of that second category.
This year, Valentine's day is a little bittersweet for me. Exactly a year ago, I was back together with my ex, we were talking about getting married, we went and had pictures taken and I was happy (at least, I thought I was). This year...well, we're not together, I can barely stand the sight of him. I'm single and still wondering how the hell last year even happened.

I do my best to hide it, but it still hurts. I thought I was over it, but no, it still hurts. Only makes it worse that everyone around me is with someone. Most of them are happy. A few are just making do. Me, I just feel....

Oh, I know I'm NOT going to be alone forever, I'm just wondering what's the shift in the universe?? Usually, I have to practically beat guys away with a stick. But now?? I can barely get a guy to flirt with me. I mean, on the one hand I really am enjoying being single, but on the other hand, I'm used to getting attention. Well...I don't know what's going on, but I'll take it as a learning experience. What am I supposed to be learning?? I have no idea.
Anyway, today, someone is going to propose, someone is going to be surprised, tons of people are going to receive cards, teddy bears, chocolates, flowers. But...what about the rest of the year?? I put today in the same category with Christmas: it's all about spending money, and making a big deal about sentiments you don't express during the other 364 days of the year. I mean, why is it only on Valentine's day that people want to surprise their special someone with dinner, tickets, flowers, etc?? Don't you love them year-round?? Why not show it some other time during the year...OTHER than their birthday??  (With Christmas, it's all about giving, giving, giving and everyone really starts getting into charity and giving to the poor....Um, they were poor in March, but I didn't see you forking over anything to help then!!)
Anyway, I guess I'm kinda glad I don't have that "special someone" because I am FLAT BROKE and wouldn't be able to participate in the consumerism. Ah well, everything happens for a reason.

Here's a little cliche stuff for all of you who need it today.

And a couple of em for the rest of us...

And one thing that explains it all...

That totally makes sense!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody.

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The Circle of Life

Well, I had an entirely different topic to post about today, but circumstances have dictated that I post about this...

"One day, Simba, the sun will set on my time here..."

My daughter's great-grandmother passed away today. (That would be her father's mother's mom, so no, not related to me.)  I know that Gramma C is devastated. I mean, it's hard enough to lose a family member (even the furry ones), but it's gotta be REALLY hard to lose your mother. I am blessed to say that my mom is still with me. I am not even trying to THINK about the day when I will have to deal with this situation.
It's funny that I was just looking at a post on G+ earlier that said something about life being short, or procrastinating until tomorrow, until one day, tomorrow isn't here.  And it's so true.  You never know when the sun will set on your time. You don't always see it coming. You may not have time for "tomorrows".  There may not be tomorrow. Why not now??
My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone they were close to. I can't imagine what you must have felt. So, I say this: before we lose another person that's close to us, why don't we go ahead and take the time to say what needs to be said to those who need to hear it. Apologize, say you love them, forgive them. Whatever unfinished business or bad blood there is between you and that someone you love, let it go. Life is too short to hold a grudge.  Think of it this way: What will hurt more; Saying something and wishing you hadn't, or NOT saying something and wishing you HAD??
There's no going back, there's only forward. So let's move forward with a clean slate for as long as we have (and we don't know how long that is).
And when the sun rises, and you get to see it, you have been given another chance to do what you haven't done (whatever that may be).

RIP Great-Gramma

*Listening to Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park*

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